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My name is Joshua Pauley.  And I am loved.

This posting was originally supposed to be about my training philosophy and what my plans for the spring are, but that is not what I am going to talk about today.  There’s plenty of time to talk about training. That post will come later. Maybe tomorrow.  Maybe Wednesday.  Maybe next week.

Last week I came out to the world that I was hanging up my spikes to run the trails.  To brave the world of ultras.  To be honest I got completely mixed results. 

Some scoffed at the idea.  Some people told me things I already knew:

“It won’t be easy. The people at the top are really good.”

“You’re going to have to train fast. It’s not just mileage.”

Some were a bit negative:

“You’re going to get rocked”

Some were positive:

“I’m so proud of you. I know you’re going to do big things.”

“Congratulations. And welcome to the world of trails.”

I was a little taken aback by some of the things that were said about my Christian views.  But I am going to stand by my beliefs.  Things could always be worse.  Some people are dying for saying the things about Jesus that I say….so it could be much worse.

What an interesting world we live in. Because through all of that, I don’t know if I have ever felt more loved.  Sure, the positive comments and the welcoming from elite runners was great.  It is easy to feel loved then. 

It is easy to feel loved when you are being brought down but someone reminds you of your strengths. That is easy.

But I was completely shell shocked when people begged for me to stay.  People that I always took for granted.  People that I care about and vice versa care about me.  When these people tried to talk me out of this decision I could see in their eyes they love me. 

One guy in particular brought this home for me.  I was sitting at my desk in the library where I work.  We have not always gotten along, but things have gotten better this past semester.  He gave me the usual lines about me needing to do track.  But then he changed directions.

He made it not about myself.  But about him. He made it about his genuine excitement to see me run fast on the track.  He made it about his genuine love of his teammates who he feels need me around.  I could see in his eyes he believed in every word he said.  Someone who I thought never gave me a second thought was here pleading for me to run track because he wanted to see me run.  He wanted to be a part of my life. 

I had no response for him.  I emailed Jake and told him about this shocking turn of events.  And all he said was, “It is called love. It was his one word to describe the team."

Three weeks ago in a team meeting were asked to state what the team meant to us in one word.  And his word was “love.” I see that now without a doubt. 

My friend left me sitting in my thoughts.  The library was almost empty and a storm was whirling outside.  But I sat there with my own thoughts whirling about my head. 

I hope that through my new adventures I will be able to show the people I come across the love that has been shown to me.  That only seems fair.  And may my actions speak louder than any words that can be said. 

I am going to stick to my guns and go the path that I have chosen. Pocahontas struggled with which path to take.  But eventually she chose and that is what I am doing as well. Hopefully there won’t be a war that breaks out over the situation (lets be honest - she didn't manage things very well).  But I am ok if woodland creatures breakout into song with me….gosh I love Disney movies…

 

 Whatever tags I am given.  Whatever words that are said to me, whether of encouragement or negativity.  I will always be loved.  And I will always carry on. 

~Bump the Lamp,

  Joshua

Turning Points

My name is Joshua Pauley. And I am at a turning point in my life. 

For the past four years I have ran collegiate cross country and track.  Through those four years I have grown immensely in many facets of my life.  My faith and relationship with the Lord.  Physically running to levels that I had only dreamed of at the beginning of my running career.  And possibly where I have been most blessed is with the relationships that have been forged through my collegiate career.

My closest friends are my brothers and sisters that run for Dallas Baptist University as well.  I inadvertently met my fiancé because of college athletics (which is a story for another day). And I also met possibly the most influential person in my athletic career. He is my advisor, my mentor, my coach, and my friend – Jacob Heath Phillips. 

But I am preparing to leave all of this behind (except for my fiancé of course…she is going to come with me.  But only because she brings the snacks…ok just kidding…she’s good for other things too). I am hanging up my fast shoes to start a new journey.

An old journey ends so that a new one may begin.  And this journey for me will be one that focuses on testing my limits and skills in the world of trail and ultra-marathons – all in hopes of eventually becoming sponsored and then at some point I would like to be one of the best in the United States (of course this is probably very far away lol).

I don’t expect all of my colleagues in my collegiate circle will understand or agree with this move.  I am sacrificing my final spring semester of eligibility for this.  I am getting involved in a realm of running that is a little taboo – for lack of a better word.

Let’s just face it. Ultra marathoners are strange people; and I mean this in the best way possible – since I do hope to be referred to as one of these same people!  But I believe the ball is in my court.  And I believe that I have been blessed/equipped with the right tools to be very successful at this. 

Maybe the best thing I have going for me is the fact that I am head over heels in love with running. It is not about racing; in fact the only reason I race is because 1) It is an outlet and 2) I am possibly the most competitive person you have ever met (thanks dad). It is about getting out on a run for a couple of hours and just soaking it all in.  It is about a slight breeze brushing against you and the sun warming your back.  It is about happiness and joy. 

Another big driving force for me to enter this community is the fact that I am a follower of Jesus.  He died for my sins – and there is not anyone else who has done that for me!  So I figure the least I can do is use the gifts I have been given to glorify His kingdom.  I believe the ultramarthoning community struggles greatly with an identity problem (also a topic for another day) and is a community hurting for love. I do not want to come in and be that Christian that throws the bible or my faith in your face.  But I hope to come in and just show the community that “Hey this is why I am running. He brings me joy and He is the only one that can satisfy my needs.” When stating this my mind instantly goes to Joshua 24:15 “But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve…But for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” What a bold statement to make.

Things are about to get crazy for me. I graduate university in May. I am getting married two weeks after that.  But before either of those life events can occur I have business to take care of.  I have two big races in the spring – and that means a good solid block of training.  It is going to get a little dirty.  Probably a bit nasty too.  I’m going to make mistakes.  I’m going to learn. It’s going to suck at times.  But it will be fun.

I have a great support team behind me.  I am entering a community filled with some of the nicest people I have ever met. I’ll be fine.  Turning points are ok.  They are mysterious. They are the dark hallway at your new house…you know what I mean.  You wake up in the middle of the night and have to go to the bathroom but don’t know where the light switch is. So you just stumble around in the darkness, knowing that after a few stubbed toes you will reach your destination. That is where I am at.

 
This blog will be an access point for others to look into my life as I pursue a lifestyle that exemplifies Christ and chase my ultra marathoning dreams. And this is just the beginning. Thanks for reading. Next time I will be talking about my running background and my philosophies on training.